It can be difficult to know how to raise your child's self-esteem. No matter how many times you tell them that they’re amazing just the way the are, the words seem to never sink in. As parents and caregivers, we’re left asking ourselves this seemingly impossible question:
How can I raise my child’s self-esteem?
Here’s the truth — we gain confidence when we succeed. One of the best ways to raise your child’s self-esteem is by cultivating success in their everyday lives.
Here are three easy steps to encourage big & small successes in your child’s life and raise their self-esteem:
- Show them that they CAN accomplish their goals.
- Find the right help.
- Promote daily practice.
Show them that they CAN accomplish their goals.
When it comes to self-esteem and success, your biggest competitor is your child’s mindset. Odds are, if they’re experiencing low self-esteem, they have negative beliefs about themselves. They likely think thoughts such as I’m not good enough, I can’t do that, or I’m not smart like the other kids.
One of the best ways to combat this negative internal dialogue is by picking a skill your child believes they can’t do and prove that they CAN do it.
Some examples include:
- riding a bike
- doing a cartwheel
- scoring a basket
and so on…
Once you’ve decided on a skill, write it down. Tape or tac this note somewhere you’ll see it every day to remind yourself of your commitment to help your child raise their self-esteem by cultivating success in this skill.
Extra Tip: If your child is convinced they can’t achieve this skill, remind them of the Power of Yet. They might not be able to do this skill now, but they can in the future. When your child says “I can’t ride my bike!” encourage them to say this instead: “I can’t ride my bike yet.”
Adding “yet” to the end of your child’s “I can’t” statement is a stepping stone to eventually saying “I CAN!” Check out THIS blog on The Power of Yet to learn more about how this one word can make such a large impact in your child’s self-beliefs.
Find the right help.
As you help your child build their self-esteem by striving for success, you might find yourself in a situation where you child wants to learn a skill that’s beyond your reach. While you feel fully equipped to help your child learn to ride their bike or tie their shoes, you might feel a bit in over your head when your child says, “I wish I could do a kick flip on my skateboard!”
Unless you have an inner Tony Hawk living within, the best way to help your child master a difficult skill is by finding the right help.
Is there someone you know who already knows how to do the skill your child dreams about learning? Are there any local options for lessons? Can you find a tutorial online?
Do some research and discover the resources around you to help your child accomplish their goals and raise their self-esteem.
Extra Tip: Get your child involved in the researching process. This will teach them that it’s okay to ask for help and how to find it when they need to.
Promote daily practise.
At the end of the day, mastering any skill is a lengthy process. It’s rare to find your child mastering a skill overnight. The best way to create results is by encouraging your child to practise daily.
After a day or two, if they aren’t where they want to be, they’ll start doubting themselves and want to give up. This is where you’ll step in and remind them that they can do it if they keep trying.
Persistence is key.
As your child practises persistence, they’ll also develop resilience on the days when they find themselves struggle to overcome the obstacles holding them back. Resilience is essential for raising your child’s self-esteem.
Celebrate their success.
When the day comes that your child finally rides their bike on their own, ties their shoes for the first time, or masters the kick flip, make sure to celebrate their success. Take time to reflect on where they were and where they are now. Remind them that they did it.
Odds are they’ll have more confidence, higher self-esteem, and a deep desire to learn their next skill. Continue to encourage them by recycling these 3 Easy Steps to Raise your Child’s Self-Esteem as they pursue new goals.
And don’t be afraid to try these out for yourself. Whether you want to crochet your first toque, sing a ballad, or write your own children’s book, remember that you CAN do it and you are enough.