Little humans often feel big feelings. From the moment they’re born, emotions are part of who they are—but understanding, naming, and managing those emotions, well, it isn’t something that comes naturally for them. It needs to be taught and practiced, much like reading or writing.
Happy, sad, scared, excited, angry, grouchy, surprised—these are all emotions that children feel regularly. However, because emotions can often coexist (just watch Inside Out and you’ll know what I mean), teaching them isn’t always so straightforward. Still, emotions are a natural part of life, so teaching children how to navigate their emotions is crucial. We won’t be able to shield them from all the emotions that come with life, but we can give them the tools to help process their feelings in healthy, constructive ways.
So, how do we help them to understand, name, and manage these big emotions? One tool we can use is books. Stories are powerful ways to help children make sense of their feelings by giving them a chance to see themselves in the story and make connections with their own experiences. From joy and excitement to fear, sadness, and frustration, this blog will discuss how to create emotionally engaging stories that help children not only navigate but embrace all of their feelings in healthy ways.
Why Emotional Connection Matters in Children’s Books
When it comes to emotions, books have a beautiful way of guiding children to understand why they feel what they feel—and why others do, too. They help children safely process their emotions, learn that their feelings are valid, and believe that they have their own power to grow emotionally. This connection reassures they aren’t alone in what they’re feeling.
Children also learn from watching others—and this includes the characters in their favorite books. By connecting the dots between what a character is feeling and why they’re acting a certain way, children are able to begin recognizing and naming emotions. After all, naming a feeling is the first step to understanding it. For example, take fear—not just any fear, but the fear of the dark. A picture book has the power to help them realize that it’s okay to feel scared sometimes, while also showing them that they’re safe, loved, and braver than they realize. As children watch how characters navigate their own emotions, they often pick up ways to regulate their own feelings (sometimes, without even realizing they’re doing it)!
Writing for Emotional Connection
As authors, when we write a book that speaks to an emotion, we hope for something more than a momentary connection. We don’t want them to just feel seen; rather, we want to give them a lesson they’ll carry into their life that helps them manage their own feelings. Here’s a few ways you can write in a way that helps children learn to navigate their feelings:
Reflect Common Childhood Experiences Back to Them
Your reader should be able to see themself in your story—not just in the characters but also in the situations. Use relatable, real-life experiences like the struggle of going to bed, the frustration of learning to tie their shoe, or the nerves of starting school for the first time. These emotionally charged moments let kids think, "That’s me!"
When children read about a situation that mirrors an emotion they’ve experienced, it gives them a sense of validation because they are able to recognize and identify it. So, whether it's a character simply playing with blocks, chatting with a parent, or feeling let down after a soccer game loss, these common childhood experiences keep the story rooted in their world.
Be Honest, Yet Appropriate
Children can handle big feelings, but it’s all in the way you present those emotions. This will all depend on the age group you are writing for. Regardless of their age, be honest with the emotion you are addressing, but also make sure your message doesn’t overwhelm them.
For younger readers, this might mean you focus on using simple language and straightforward concepts. This could be centered around losing a toy or the joy of learning something new. For older children, you may dive deeper into more complex emotions like jealousy or loneliness using scenarios around friendship or school. It’s all about finding a balance. While you want to acknowledge their emotions, you also need to present them in a way that feels safe and accessible for their age.
Use Fun, Adventurous, or Silly Plots to Bury the Message
Sometimes, the most impactful emotional lessons are hidden in playful, imaginative plots. By creating silly characters and scenarios, you’re able to keep children entertained while subtly teaching them an important message.
Take A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon. Camilla cares so much about what others think that she literally breaks out in colorful stripes. While the story is hilariously funny for children (because, really, who actually gets stripes?), it also buries the deeper message of self-acceptance and the importance of staying true to yourself.
Use Metaphors
Metaphors are great ways to teach emotions without coming right out and explicitly saying it. A popular example of this is Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak. Max’s journey to the land of the wild things is a metaphor for managing his heightened emotions. The monsters aren’t just creatures—they’re representations of Max’s feelings. As Max learns to “face” his monsters, he’s able to regulate his emotions and calm down. With metaphors, you can weave emotional lessons into the story so that children engage more naturally with the deeper meaning of the story.
Offer an Ending of Resolution or Hope
Readers—especially children—need to see that even in the face of fear, sadness, or frustration, there is a way forward. So, when you present a challenge in your story, be sure to guide your characters (and readers) to some type of emotional growth. It’s important to show that emotions aren’t permanent, and challenges can lead to transformation.
Trust Your Reader
Finally, trust your reader. Children are so much smarter than we give them credit for. They don’t need you to spoon-feed them every detail—they will pick up on things naturally. This can often come from letting your illustrations do the heavy lifting. For example, characters with red cheeks, clenched fists, teary eyes, or wide smiling mouths all help children visually identify emotions. They can often connect the dots without it all being spelled out, so trust that they will.
Children’s Book Examples
Augie’s Big Leap by Pamela K. Ellis uses the fun, relaxing time of year (Christmas) to explore themes like fear and anxiety. It also brings inanimate objects to life—an evergreen crowd-pleaser for kids—making the story both whimsical and emotionally resonant.
I Like Seeing Me by Sally Taggart doesn’t rely on metaphor, but instead uses rhyme and rhythm to create a catchy, memorable story. The structure keeps kids engaged while delivering an empowering message about self-love and acceptance in a way that sticks
Pickles the Mermaid by Laura Strachan is a fun adventure that weaves in a message about empathy and kindness. The book avoids feeling preachy while still imparting valuable life skills.
My Best Friend Georgie by Heather Jack recounts a common childhood experience: attachment to a particular toy or stuffed animal and then uses that experience to explore larger themes of connection, love, and gratitude.
As you decide to write a story that speaks to an emotion, consider the ways you will leave your lasting impression on your reader. Emotional regulation doesn’t develop overnight, and for children, the first step in managing them is learning to recognize what they’re feeling. Your story can be the tool that helps them put a name to those big feelings. Whether you explore emotions through a silly adventure, a relatable childhood moment, or a creative metaphor, let the emotion you want to teach guide the heart of your story. That is where your purpose will be. Children feel so much, so deeply, so consider it a privilege to help them navigate these emotions through your story.
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