3 Strategies to Build Self-Esteem in Children 

 February 26, 2020

I wrote The Big, Bad Bully to help children and teens become aware of their thought life, stop negative self-talk in it’s tracks, and give them the tools to build positive, self-esteem building thought patterns. I did this because I had done my research on low self-esteem, and what I found scared me:
“Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which an individual views him/herself as inadequate, unlovable, and/or incompetent. Once formed, this negative view permeates every thought, producing faulty assumptions and ongoing self-defeating behaviour.”1

“Over 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, when they feel bad about their looks.”2

“Teen girls that have a negative view of themselves are 4 times more likely to take part in activities with boys that they've ended up regretting later.”3
And it’s not just girls.
“38% of boys in middle school and high school reported using protein supplements and nearly 6% admitted to experimenting with steroids.”4
We ourselves, as adults, know the repercussions for low self-self-esteem and intentionally work to build self-esteem in our children. Sifting through different strategies can be confusing, but my co-author, Jack Canfield has summed it up quite nicely:

“Self-worth and self-esteem comes from believing that you are capable and loveable.”

So how do we help our kids and teens build their self-esteem? 

The most effective methods provide evidence to your children that they are loved, and that they are capable. They bring a child’s successes and support network into focus. If you were able to catch my interview on The Morning Show, I shared three simple things from The Big, Bad Bully and Jack’s teaching that will help build self-esteem in kids and teens: 
1. The Mirror Exercise. Every night for 40 nights to build the habit and change thought patterns. 
Say your name.
Appreciate yourself by acknowledging what you did that day out loud.
Say “I love you!” to yourself.
Take it in by taking a deep breath.

Get a free printable version that you can tape to your mirror HERE.
Get the full instructions on how to do The Mirror Exercise HERE.

2. Put two photographs in your child’s room. One of them doing something they are good at (like a sport or interest) and a second one of the family from a happy memory. It could be a vacation you had, or a birthday. Having a daily visual reminder of these two things reminds children of their accomplishments (they are capable) and happy memories (they are loveable). 

3. Model it for your kids. If they see and hear you criticizing yourself, or speaking negatively about yourself, they will unconsciously pick that up themselves. On the flip side, they will also pick up on a positive outlook, as well. Why not try The Mirror Exercise together with your children and see the results for you both!
Let me know what methods you use to build self-esteem for your children and for yourself! I would love to hear from you. 

To get in touch with me, reach out through my contact page!

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