As a mom of four, I've always been aware my children’s mental health. I listen to what they say to themselves and how they talk to others. It's a great indicator of what's going on inside. But one day, I heard my daughter talking in front of the mirror. She was in the 6th grade, and she was her own bully.

The Bully in the Mirror

She would say things like...

“Mommy, why does my hair have to be so frizzy?”
“Why are my legs so short?”
“It’s not fair! Why do I have so many pimples on my face?”

Nothing I said made her stop. She ignored all the nice things I pointed out about her. It wasn’t until I went up to her, grabbed her by the shoulders, looked into her eyes, and said, “You are bullying yourself!” Then she stopped.

How We Overcame The Bully Inside

Once I told her she was bullying herself, I saw clarity in her eyes. She had finally understood.

It made such an impact because she would listen to every anti-bullying campaign at school, and the last thing she wanted to do was be a bully. The thought that she was bullying herself was enough to get her to stop.

Why I Turned That Moment into a Children's Book

That evening was one of those rare moments when the hair on my arm stands up. I knew I was on to something big. From there I went straight upstairs and started writing the first draft of The Big, Bad Bully

A lot of us are our biggest bullies. The words and thoughts we think about impact us dramatically. Our thoughts can either enrich us or do us harm. Our thoughts can either bring us happiness or bring us a lot of pain.

So how do you change negative self-talk into something positive? Something that works for you instead of against you?

As I asked myself these questions, I remembered The Mirror Exercise Jack Canfield taught to us at one of his training seminars. I had used it to help my daughter change her inner dialogue. Instead of criticizing, we learned to focus on positive things.

I truly feel this is a message every child needs to hear. The first step to stopping negative self-talk is to be aware it's happening in the first place. Below are some resources that can help bring that awareness to your children. 

Self-Esteem Resources

The Mirror Exercise

Pro Tip: Download and print The Mirror Exercise and the how-to instructions. Tape it to your mirror and do it with your children daily.

Download The Mirror Exercise (printable)

Download The Mirror Exercise Image HOW TO (printable)

The Big, Bad Bully

Self-esteem expert Jack Canfield and noted educational speaker Miriam Laundry reveal that the biggest bully in a child’s world is not lurking around the corner but living inside her head.

Order Your Copy HERE

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