As a mom of four, I have always been aware of how important my children’s mental health is. I listen to what they say to themselves, and how they talk to others. It is a great indicator of what is going on inside. One day, I heard my daughter, in front of the mirror, talking. She was in Grade 6 at the time.
Well, she wasn’t so much talking as complaining.
“Mommy, why does my hair have to be so frizzy?”
“Why are my legs so short”
“It’s not fair! Why do I have so many pimples on my face?”
Nothing I would say would make her stop. All the nice things I was pointing out about her were completely ignored. It wasn’t until I went up to her, grabbed her by the shoulders, looked into her eyes, and said “You are bullying yourself!” that she stopped.
But, she didn’t just stop. I saw clarity in her eyes that she understood.
Why did this make such an impact? She listens to everything that is taught to her at school. She has listened to many anti-bully talks, and the last thing she wants to do is be “the bully.”
The thought that she was bullying herself was enough to get her to stop.
That was one of those rare moments when the hair on my arm stood up. I knew I was on to something big. From there I went straight upstairs and started writing the first draft of The Big, Bad Bully.
A lot of us are our biggest bullies. The words and thoughts we think about impact us dramatically. Our thoughts can either enrich us, or do us harm. Our thoughts can either bring us happiness, or bring us a lot of pain.
So, how do you change negative self-talk into something positive? Something that works FOR you instead of against you?
I remembered the mirror exercise that Jack Canfield taught to us at one of his training seminars and I used it to help her change the inner dialogue. Instead of criticism, to focus on positive things.
I truly feel this is a message that every child needs to hear. The first step to stopping negative self-talk is to be aware that it is even happening in the first place! I’ve got some resources below that can help with bringing that awareness to your children.
Pro Tip: download and print The Mirror Exercise and the HOW TO : Tape it to your mirror and do it with your children daily.
Self-Esteem expert Jack Canfield and noted educational speaker Miriam Laundry reveal that the biggest bully in a child’s world is not lurking around the corner but living inside her head.
Join the Authors Oct. 30, 2019
- includes a reading of The Big, Bad Bully with the authors and self-esteem building exercises
- is all about helping kids recognize and address negative self talk
- is 30 – 45 min long
- is best for grades 3-8
- will be available as a video after the LIVE reading
- is perfect for classrooms or at home
- takes place at 10:00 am PST (1:00pm EST) on October 30, 2019.